The following is a guest post written by one of our patients. We thank them for sharing their experience and also hope this resonates with someone enough that they take action to get the help they need so they can get back to brain health and wellness.
As you all know, I have been more than struggling over the last few years. I never knew the depths of my depression could be so deep. I never knew the chaos of my anxiety could get so all-consuming and overwhelming. I never knew my insomnia could drive me to a place that feels way too close to madness and always results in pure, unrelenting exhaustion. I never knew the pain from which my body suffers could reach such absolute and complete misery that just never stops. But all these things, I certainly know now. And all too well. This is my reality.
I have spent the last few years just trying to survive. I really would love to get to a place where I can actively participate in life and can actually thrive. I have a long way to go but to thrive is my goal.
My life was very literally saved by my current psychiatrist [Dr. Sambunaris] and the ketamine infusions he administered every single week for over a year. Those two things saved my life. Without them I would be dead.
In the last four months I have been able to move past the “I am alive and not dying but have made no new steps forward” point to “I am alive and have made a couple of steps forward” point.
It’s a never ending and very bumpy and terrifying ride. There’s so much more work to be done. More progress for which I’m desperate. But I’m in the fight now. I have my wrists taped up and gloves on and I’m doing the dance.
I hope that I will get to a place where I can share my story with others who suffer as I do. And share with those who are blessed enough to not suffer in this way but need understanding of what it’s like for people who do.
I hope this will be read by someone who needs to hear it and that it will make a difference in the life of someone hurting or the lives of family members trying to stand by a loved one or will help practitioners in their effort to treat their patients. I just hope it can make some sort of difference somewhere in the world.
